Voodoo PHP

Marco Pivetta (01.Jul.2017 at 15:45, 1 hr )
Keynote at Dutch PHP Conference 2017 (English - US)

Rating: 4 of 5

Is that a bug or a feature? It’s magic!
Learn how to (mis-)use PHP hacks to build actual magic into the language, and how to get burnt by it!

This talk teaches some of the language features that are in PHP and that nobody should use, unless they are looking for trouble.

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Comments

Rating: 5 of 5

01.Jul.2017 at 16:43 by Jeroen v.d. Gulik (90 comments) via Joind.in iPhone app

Well done

Rating: 5 of 5

01.Jul.2017 at 18:19 by James Titcumb (261 comments) via Web2 LIVE

Great talk, funny and good technical content. Good exploration into some of the fundamental principles that libraries like Doctrine are based on. Only criticism is you spoke a tiny bit fast sometimes and the sound was a little muddy (not your fault so not knocking off a thumb!)

Rating: 5 of 5

01.Jul.2017 at 18:46 by Mairsil (36 comments)

It's a surprising topic for a keynote but I always enjoy seeing what happens when you leave charted waters and start poking around.

The code slides with the highlighted sections worked very well, some of the skipping back and forth on the later slides was a little distracting

Rating: 5 of 5

01.Jul.2017 at 19:53 by Robert (13 comments) via Web2 LIVE

Awesome insights in how magic is discovered and then actually used in some of the most used packages in PHP land. It was simply lot's of fun to listen to this, good amounts of jokes.

Rating: 5 of 5

01.Jul.2017 at 20:11 by Onno Lissenberg (44 comments)

Had fun, of course my first try to commit this comment ended up like this:

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Rating: 1 of 5

01.Jul.2017 at 20:41 by Sander Zegveld (21 comments) via Web2 LIVE

What an awful closing note. It was supposed to be funny but I could not laugh for a single second. The topics which were presented in the talk were quite interesting and very deep technical stuff, but it was such a mess and without a red line in my opinion - or I completely missed it. Anyway, I did see a worse presentation and certainly not my highlight of the day. I better read a book about the topic I think.

Rating: 4 of 5

01.Jul.2017 at 20:59 by Frits van Campen (30 comments) via Web2 LIVE

Great talk. Definitely funny. Very insightful. Compared to other keynotes however it felt a little rough. I also wasn't really sure where the talk was going. We went from one code snippet to another without much context. Speaking style was a little rough.

Rating: 5 of 5

01.Jul.2017 at 21:01 by Deniz Zoeteman (8 comments) via Web2 LIVE

Good keynote! Was quite funny, as I think a lot of us have been there implementing magic ;) Maybe not a keynote you can get much out of, but a nice closer for the conference.

Speaker comment:

01.Jul.2017 at 21:37 by Marco Pivetta (115 comments) via Web2 LIVE

Hey Denitz, Frits,

The talk had no point at all - just a lot of terrible practices, where/when they are useful and a lot of fun around it ?

Rating: 5 of 5

01.Jul.2017 at 22:04 by Arjan van den Bos (27 comments) via Web2 LIVE

Technical but very funny keynote, although I could imagine that this was not easy to follow for everyone. I loved the way of talking, the sarcasm, the jokes. Great job, well done! Thanks for the insights in the magic of PHP!

Rating: 4 of 5

01.Jul.2017 at 22:30 by Erik de Bos (19 comments) via Web2 LIVE

Enjoyable and inspiring. The message (why we should respect language rules) was well presented with obvious expertise in the subject and great practical examples, if a bit obscured by the somewhat chaotic presentation. I'm not sure if the joke about making the sheets in the train to the conference was actually a joke! :-)

Speaker comment:

01.Jul.2017 at 22:32 by Marco Pivetta (115 comments) via Web2 LIVE

No joke, I always end up doing slides at the very last moment ?

Rating: 4 of 5

02.Jul.2017 at 12:02 by Bas (11 comments) via Web2 LIVE

It was a funny talk. I don't know if you should encourage people to do this kind of programming. You could have mentioned the amount of stress you get finding out these kind of behaviors.

Rating: 5 of 5

02.Jul.2017 at 12:27 by Peter Bouwdewijn (10 comments)

This is stuff my nerd hart beats for. Nice examples, great meme's and a good seasoning of wtf.

Rating: 4 of 5

02.Jul.2017 at 15:36 by Gabriel Somoza (46 comments) via Web2 LIVE

Great talk! Hilarious, deep, technical (it's usually so hard to combine those!) and of course.. magical. The fact that the slides were made last-minute kind of showed showed, but that's literally the only thing I'd change about this otherwise brilliant talk.

Rating: 5 of 5

02.Jul.2017 at 17:45 by Ramon de la Fuente (128 comments) via Web2 LIVE

I found it absolutely refreshing as a keynote, because of the lack of an... actionable message. It was very light and funny, although highly technical when it comes to the VooDoo, and certainly worth watching. "I'm not an inspirational speaker, I'm here to demotivate you" sealed the deal for me! *grin*

Rating: 4 of 5

02.Jul.2017 at 21:37 by Peter Meijer (14 comments) via Web2 LIVE

Nice one, just a good demotivating talk!

Rating: 5 of 5

03.Jul.2017 at 09:35 by Tom den Braber (16 comments) via Web2 LIVE

Woa, this was a really nice talk. The speaker clearly knows a lot about PHP and PHP hacks, and clearly enjoys to showcase them. Some good advice also at the end ("a little but of magic might be OK, but don't let anyone suffer from it").

Rating: 4 of 5

03.Jul.2017 at 11:34 by Christopher Pitt (84 comments) via Web2 LIVE

This was an unexpectedly fun talk. Unexpected because it's not the kind of topic keynotes usually cover, but I thought it was well-presented and entertaining. A potential point of improvement would be to write the slides a bit further in advance, so you can have time to find the "slides in react" kinks and iron them out before the presentation.

Rating: 5 of 5

03.Jul.2017 at 11:53 by Erik Roelofs (6 comments) via Web2 LIVE

This was a fun talk. After hearing about all the wonderful things you can do with technology, it's great to get a reminder of some of the wonderful things you shouldn't do with technology. A bit of thoughtfulness up front can save a lot of stress after.

Rating: 4 of 5

03.Jul.2017 at 12:58 by Niels van Esch (26 comments) via Web2 LIVE

I don't think it was really a keynote-like talk but still a fun talk. However from reading the description I was hoping on a lot nastier stuff. Hoping i would find new ways of totally crapping out my code, hoping for moments that I would go 'awww... dude.... no....', but the problem here might also be that I love doing magical unicorn stuff in my (just for fun) code and have found out way too much of it in the last years.

Rating: 4 of 5

03.Jul.2017 at 13:11 by Freek Van der Herten (57 comments) via Web2 LIVE

Really like the content and the way of presenting.

Just don't use React again for creating slides :-)

Rating: 5 of 5

03.Jul.2017 at 18:14 by Tim Huijzers (14 comments) via Web2 LIVE

Was it a good idea to do slides at the last minute? I don't know
Was it a good idea to have this talk as the closing keynote? I don't know
Is it a good idea to have more people know about all this magic? I don't know
Is Marco a smart guy by doing this? I don't know
Was is fun? Yes it was.

Rating: 5 of 5

04.Jul.2017 at 09:35 by Marcos Loureiro (24 comments) via Web2 LIVE

Very nice talk
Great job

Rating: 5 of 5

05.Jul.2017 at 03:57 by Ben Dechrai (32 comments) via Web2 LIVE

I loved this talk! It was a perfect closing keynote. Marco delivered a humorous look at ways in which you can really make your life miserable through the use of undocumented features, and kept the audience laughing every step of the way. His stage presence was casual, relaxed, and yet very in control of the narrative, while the slides engaging and succinct. Thanks, Marco!

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